Shapely, Voluptuous, Curvy, Heavy, Big boned...call it what you want, but don't call me fat. I don't know why I don't take offense to any of the other euphemisms, but the "F word" just ruins my day. I know that there are people out there who would read this and say do something about it. They, sadly, are right. I could and should do more, but excuses are easier. I know that even if I am eating healthy, I have to be working out to really lose the weight.
I have battled my weight my whole life. Bad eating habits, lots of hours at work, alcohol, you name it I had that problem. Also, I am fighting a hormone imbalance due to my PCOS that is a royal you know what. It not only makes me crave sweets (I am not normally a sweet tooth) but also makes it harder to lose weight. Before I had my son, I was doing 5 miles a day a few times a week on a machine and I still was gaining weight. Sick JOKE!
I got pregnant and was deathly afraid I was going to put on more weight that I would have to fight to get off. I ate fairly healthy and when I did have cravings, I indulged, but it was in moderation. I ended up going into labor -1 lb. from my pre-pregnancy weight. By the time I was 3 months post partum, I was down a total of 30 lbs from my pre baby weight. I felt like for once, I was achieving the kind of weight loss I wanted. Then....the holidays hit!
Between the holidays, vacation, and my hormones going back out of whack (they regulated while I was pregnant, weird I know) I gained back all but 11 lbs of that. So, as most of Americans did, I resolved my self in the new year to lose weight. We bought the healthy groceries, I started working out again, I limited my liquid calories to water and ice tea. We started once we returned from vacation and in about 10 days I have lost 10 lbs.
So, now onto the bigger problem. I still have cravings, I still want to have that crap food. Nick and I have come up with a fairly different solution that most. We plan one day a week that we don't worry about what we eat. That doesn't give us permission to gorge ourselves. Last Friday we had pizza for dinner since we had a housefull of extra kids. We each had a couple of slices, but did not eat it the way we would have a month ago. We had a chai from Starbucks and didn't worry about the liquid (evil) calories.
I think that this plan allows us to do a few things. It allows us to fulfill those cravings without doing it daily. We think about what we would like and plan to have it that special day. It motivates us to stay on track and work towards the "prize." It also helps balance out our daily calorie intake so for example since I knew that I was going to have pizza that night, I chose to have a big salad for lunch that day.
I think a lot of times people, myself included, jump into weight loss and give up everything and work out everyday. Then, they burn out a month later. I am realistic. Above, I mentioned my resolution was to lose weight, but I realize now it needs to be to get healthy. If I can get healthy, the weight loss will eventually follow. A good friend said something to me last week and it has really stuck with me. She said to make one change at a time. So for example, the last two weeks it has been about eating better. Maybe this next week it will be to park at the back of the parking lot instead of circling for the closest spot to the store. Maybe I will do jumping jacks during commercials when I watch TV in the afternoons. Maybe, I will add one more workout a week. I think her point was, if you try to do it all at once, you can't win. Sure, you might lose a ton of weight right out of the gate, but eventually you burn out and go back to bad habits. Maybe, just maybe if the change is gradual, the changes will be lifetime.
I am ok with being curvy, but, I will never be ok with being the F word. The first step to that is to quit thinking of myself as that and then to make gradual changes to make sure no one else has a reason to make me feel that way either.
